TV Review: The Queen In 3D – C4

The Queen In 3D C4

I'M not sure about adding extra dimensions to the Royals. Let's face it, Camilla Parker Bowles in 3D could scar your kids for life.

The Queen, though, is different. "I was awestruck by her beauty," says 3D expert Arthur Wooster, who recently caught up with his subject at a royal garden party more than 50 years after he first filmed her. "I thought she looked incredibly young," he said, "even though she is in her 80s." It's truly amazing what a lifelong diet of swan paté can do for the complexion.

Arthur had first captured the Queen with fellow cameramen Bob Angell at her Coronation. Prior to the event, an astonishing one-and-a-half million television sets were bought by viewers eager to see the spectacle. Such TV-purchasing hysteria has never occurred again although a bloke called Ian, from Swindon, did this week invest in a 48-inch widescreen to witness Jordan's jungle return.

However, it was a couple of weeks later as the Queen alighted from the royal barge – how undignified it was when she later had to lie on her back and 'leg it' through a tunnel – on the River Thames that they recorded what they felt was the more naturalistic glamour of Her Majesty.

"I was knocked back by her beauty," said Arthur. "She radiated film-star quality." This is true. Had she not been required to take up the throne she could have been the new Raquel Welch. Arthur and Bob were amazed to find themselves capturing almost exactly the same scene this year as the Queen alighted from a boat at Windsor during the traditional swan-counting ceremony in July. It's one of the few times you can see a reigning monarch using a calculator.

"I was amazed how little she had changed over the decades," said Bob. "She is still so slight and so elegant. It was incredibly emotional, because the way she stepped from the boat and then walked past the camera was almost exactly the same as all those years ago. It was like turning back time."

Arthur and Bob's films lay unwatched in the dusty archives of the British Film Institute for 50 years before being revived by Channel 4. 3D, despite an initial flurry of excitement, never really caught on with cinema audiences. The Towering Inferno In 3D was the final straw when popcorn eaters bombarded the fire service with calls fearing they were about to suffer third degree burns.

"Some of the films were awful," said Bob, "and the process of getting cinemas equipped to show the 3D films, plus collecting and storing the viewing glasses, took the shine off the idea."

This is true. Few people believe they look better in a pair of specs with one green and one red lens. Only Elton John as far as I know.

Don't expect Bob and Arthur's new footage of the Queen to spark a major revival. To be honest, most TV programmes would benefit from less dimensions, not more. A blank unplugged screen aids viewing of EastEnders in particular.