On the ball: Chris Travers's sport blog

Sentinel assistant sports editor Chris Travers has his say on the world of sport

RICARDO Fuller may not have enjoyed his finest hour in a Stoke City shirt on Sunday... but his red card was not the most bizarre of the weekend.

While Fuller was sent for an early bath after slapping his own captain at West Ham, a Chippenham Town striker was dismissed after just THREE SECONDS of his side’s British Gas Southern League Premier Division game against Bashley.

Aptly named David Pratt, the striker lunged at Bashley’s Chris Knowles to receive his marching orders from referee Justin Amey.

It set a new world record, eclipsing the rather pedestrian effort of Bologna player Giuseppe Lorenzo, who headed for the showers 10 seconds into an Italian league game in 1990 for hitting an opponent.

In all fairness, Pratt was probably only carrying out his manager’s instructions from the team-talk: ‘Be aggressive from the first whistle‘, ‘Let them know you’re there’ and ’make your first tackle count’.

But while Pratt’s dismissal ranks as the quickest, a bit of research has turned up some of the more bizarre red cards in the game.

Forget Blackburn stars David Batty and Graeme Le Saux playing fisticuffs in a Champions League game or any number of players being ordered off for dissent... one of the best happened to Ely City manager Dennis Lightning in October this year.

Lightning was allegedly sent from the technical area by referee Steve Artiss for adopting a sarcastic tone as he waited to make a substitution.

Artiss told Lightning to ‘sort his technical area out’ as Ely looked to make the substitutions in their Ridgeons League fixture against Kirkley & Pakefield.

“When I asked him what he meant, he said ‘You’ve got two players in full kit standing behind you‘,” Lightning told the Newmarket Journal.

“I said ‘Yes, ref, they’re called subs and are ready to go on to the pitch’ and the crowd behind the dug-out laughed, which I don’t think he liked much.”

Artiss told the Ely boss that if he said “one more word” he would send him off.

“As he walked back on to the pitch, I said ‘Please, ref, may I make a substitution now,’ and that was it – he sent me off.”

Still in East Anglia, Debenham Under-18s player Tim Bowers received a second yellow card for re-entering the field of play without permission after receiving treatment.. but his team had the last laugh with a 3-2 win against Framlingham in September this year.

Also in 2008, Sheffield Wednesday player Jermaine Johnson also received his second booking in the derby match with city rivals United... four minutes after being substituted.

Johnson, clearly frustrated at being removed, kicked a water bottle towards the crowd, and was summoned from the dressing room to receive his second yellow.

Earlier this season FC Asteras Tripolis midfielder Adrián Bastía received his marching orders for a foul (nothing odd there).. but his was on a supporter.

With his team playing out a 1-1 draw with Panathinaikos, a fan ran on the pitch, but instead of allowing the security officials to deal with the matter, Bastia tackled the trespasser and was promptly sent on his way by the referee.

And finally... Port Vale striker Danny Glover received the first of his two yellow cards against Rochdale on Sunday after celebrating his goal by revealing a T-shirt bearing the message ‘Happy birthday Dad’ to father and manager Dean.

Even on League Two wages, surely he could have gone out and bought a card.

So it just goes to show that while Ricardo Fuller does enter the world of bizarre red cards... he doesn't top the lot when it comes to early baths.