Mum found refuge after fleeing a violent partner
"I MET him several years ago during a night out in the pub. He seemed fine at first – nice-looking, funny, and good company to be with.
"We got on really well. We started dating and became quite serious. After about six months, I wen t abroad to train as a nurse, and he came out to join me.
"I hadn't finished my training, but I packed in my studies and came home with him. I suppose I was in love. Anyway, we set up in my home town in the Midlands.
"We bought a house and we were very happy, on and off. What I hadn't realised was how much he needed to be in control, and how quick-tempered he could be.
"After a couple of years, I started to worry about his temper. I'd always been able to control him, to calm him down, but his temper was getting worse and I began to feel a bit scared.
"He didn't beat me, it was more manipulation than violence.
"I threatened to leave him, and a couple of times I went back to my mother's. But he always promised to change his ways and learn to control his temper.
"I once left him for about a year. I'd had enough of all the arguing, and just decided to call it a day. But I went back in the end.
"Looking back, it didn't always seem so bad at the time. You excuse a lot and put the blame on yourself. You are made to feel that it's all your fault – that you drove him to it. Then, I became pregnant with our daughter, who is now nearly two. Things got a lot worse after she was born.
"I think he felt left out. He thought I was giving too much attention to the baby and not enough to him.
"We had different ideas about bringing up the baby, and that was one thing I was not prepared to compromise on.
"That was when he started throwing things and punching doors. At the time, I thought I'd rather him punch doors than punch me, but there was worse to come.
"One day, he lost his temper, jumped out of his chair, knocking the little girl over, and hit me. It was a hard smack, not a punch – he never punched me, not in the face at least.
"He apologised and said it wouldn't happen again. I thought we should stay together, if only for the sake of the baby, but I was getting to the end of my tether.
"After that, he did things like dragging me down the stairs in the middle of the night, bruising my arms, and threatening to lock me out of the house for the night.
"In the end, I took the baby and left him. At first, I stayed with my mother, and then I got a property of my own. I'd made my mind up never to go back to him, although I did allow him to come and see the little girl.
"Things came to a head when I took the baby to see his mum and dad, and he was waiting. He kicked in the lights and wing mirrors of the car, and threatened to kill me. He was shouting, screaming, and threatening me, and I was so afraid that I called the police, although they only gave him a caution.
"I booked into a hotel and later came here to Elizabeth House. I've been here several months now, and I feel 100 per cent better.
"Everyone is really nice, and I feel safe enough to walk down the street with no fear of him turning up.
"My little girl is also doing fine, and I'm so happy here that I think I will settle in the area, get back to work, and try to start a new life."
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