Whitechapel ITV1, 9pm

WHITECHAPEL isn't the easiest of dramas to take seriously. Previous series have dealt with copycat versions of Jack the Ripper and The Krays. As DS Miles enquired, "So what's this one then, the return of Dr Crippen?".

DI Chandler soon put him right. "Dr Crippen only killed one woman, his wife, and buried her dismembered body in the cellar."

Far too tame for Whitechapel.

No, the present sepia-tinged mystery revolves around the mysterious slaying of four tailors in a fortified weaving house. Either a madman was on the loose or someone was extremely peeved at the cut of their waistcoat.

If I'd been in charge of the inquiry I'd have immediately rounded up all the surrounding snooker players.

Crime historian Ed Buchan believed the slayings mirrored the real-life Ratcliffe Highway murders of 1811, a multiple attack on a linen-makers.

The man thought responsible had hanged himself in prison. "They buried him at a crossroads so that if his true spirit emerged it'd be confused and not know which way to go," Chandler told a suitably petrified colleague. "They dumped his body in a small pit so he'd feel discomfort for eternity and drove a stake through his heart to prevent his restless soul from wandering."

You can't help thinking there'd be a lot less litter on the streets if penalties were as stringent now.

The fact that the killer had mysteriously managed to enter the secure premises to carry out his deed had caused panic in the East End. Although living with Phil Mitchell all these years you'd think they'd be accustomed to the threat of maiming.

Rational reason had been replaced by foul rumour and scaremongering.

"Everyone says the killer comes in the dark," reported an officer, "and gets you when you turn out the lights."

You can only hope he's got his eye on Tommy Steele. "I saw the devil walking in Whitechapel," confirmed a witness.

Although he may have got confused with Simon Cowell.

The main suspect, caught on CCTV, was a shambling bloke in a big coat with a limp. All units were alerted to be on the lookout for Claude Jeremiah Greengrass.

Eventually, one of the deceased's half-brothers was hauled in, an unpleasant bloke who had a disconcerting habit of laughing like a baddie off Scooby-Doo.

His presence caused disquiet. The police station was consumed by fear of the devil, a situation which only usually arises when the Chief Superintendent comes round.

Fears of the supernatural were heightened when the suspect later managed to escape from his cell. Forget Ed Buchan, for this case Chandler needs Mystic Meg.