Sentinel Playerwatch - Transfer Window Day 28: Pulis hunts Mexican Mama
THERE was a manager in the old Cheadle and District Junior League who liked to think he was the Staffordshire Moorlands' answer to Brian Clough.
Ok, he may have thought he was a genius in his big football manager's coat with his initials on the chest but his best plan basically boiled down to sending his left-back out onto the pitch wearing number 10 and centre-forward out as a number two.
It was all in hope that the opposition would be so befuddled their centre-backs would end up on the right wing.
It might not have worked against Longton Harriers or Blythe Tigers but the idea, in principle, still has supporters in elite circles.
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Elite circles like Club America, the Mexican team who sound like a holiday resort they might have gone to for spring break on old Channel 4 favourite Saved By The Bell.
Club's manager Miguel Herrera plays Raúl Jimenez as a "false number nine" – and it's Jimenez who has set gossipers' tongues wagging down Mexico way.
Stoke City, Ajax and Udinese are all reported to be making a dash for the 21-year-old not-quite front man.
At first glance it may sound like a rumour to throw in the Lee-Trundle-househunting-in-Trentham never gonna happen pile, but hold tight.
It appears that "false number nine" in Herrera's head equates to what is known as "the Mama role" on this side of the Atlantic.
Jimenez is 6ft 3in-tall and loves to play in the supporting hole behind a main striker.
All Dave Kemp needs to do now find is a Bolivian version of Ricardo Fuller and this transfer window could yet finish with a bang.
Meanwhile, watch out for Jamie Oliver, it seems lean mean Kenwyne Jones has become a Turkey Twizzler.
Jones, with near zero per cent body fat, could not be further from the Oliver-despised strips of water, pork fat, rusk, wheat starch and a smattering of meat.
But the Sunderland Echo has put the 28-year-old in a will-he, won't-he spin about a move to South East Europe; the aforementioned twizzle.
They reckon the Sunderland's pursuit of Danny Graham hangs on the chances of Swansea sneaking Jones, but Turkish interest could slam the brakes on the merrygoround.
For his part, Swansea manager Michael Laudrup suggests that his business has been concluded for the week. Twizzle on that, Sunderland.