Policing more than child's play
999: What's Your Emergency? C4, 9pm
IT'S an average day in Blackpool. Trams clatter on the rails, a coachload of pensioners enjoy the illuminations, and 15 hen parties are engaged in a mass brawl on the promenade.
The town's police, however, yearning to be reposted to somewhere off Heartbeat, are busy elsewhere.
This week, the show which follows 999 calls from the moment they're made, focuses on kids.
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These days the average Blackpool child – shaven-headed with a full facial spider's web tattoo – is taking up more and more of the emergency services' time, whether it's prank calls, bad behaviour or poor parenting.
Tonight we follow PC Chris Hardy as he responds to a call from a terrified family who've had a brick thrown through their window by a gang of lads. Can the Blackpool manager get his team back under control?
The incident appears to have started when one boy called another 'fat', clearly a rarity in a town built on the twin dietary bedrocks of grease and lard.
Elsewhere, when a resident finds a three-year-old boy walking barefoot and alone down a back street, PC Mark Glass is dispatched to find out where he lives and where his parents are, while PC Mike Ellis is sent to track down 12-year-old twin girls who've disappeared on the promenade after their father went drinking.
Finally, police are called to the beach where a woman has been performing obscene acts under the pier. Who'd have thought candy floss could be so adaptable?