Michael Baggaley column: Credit where it's due, but there are people who are not on the money

IT will be the talk of the Boothen End this afternoon…Britain has had its credit rating downgraded from AAA to Aa1.

Obviously this is alarming news, not least to those of us who didn't realise the international credit system is run on batteries.

But what if these rules applied to football?  Where in our beautiful game could confidence take a hit?

Here are a few things I've lost faith in this week…..

SOME PORT VALE FANS  

Micky Adams is clearly doing a terrific job as the Valiants are in second place in League Two, five points clear in the automatic promotion spots, despite successive home defeats.

But after last Saturday's  1-0 win at Torquay, Adams used his post-match interview to have a swipe at critics on the internet.

"I don't think our fans have a lot to grumble about, but there are some who think they're clever on their computers and all they do is grumble, " he said. 

He's got a point. Anyone who thinks he isn't doing good job, whether they are on the internet or in the stands, clearly needs their bumps felt.

But he's going to drive himself bonkers if he starts taking notice of everything on the internet.  

That way madness lies Micky, so just don't take the internet so seriously.  Otherwise, as Vale fans celebrate promotion on the pitch on the last day of the season, there's a danger their manager will grab the microphone and have a go at that Nigerian prince who asked for his credit card details.....

MICHAEL LAUDRUP

It's all very well being flavour of the month, getting  Swansea to play fantastic, attractive football and being tipped to be the next Real Madrid manager.

However, my faith in this cool cat was shaken when, after Swansea's win over Bradford at Wembley, he admitted he'd forgotten to tell his players who the penalty taker is. 

What! Any Sunday league manager will tell you this is basic stuff. Forget this and a row is bound to follow. At the very least, someone won't be getting a lift back to the pub.

What else would he forget?  To bring the kit, pay the referee or ask Dave the landlord to lay on chips and sandwiches?

You might get away with it in the Champions League Michael, but don't even bother to apply for the Rose and Crown job. 

DEAN SAUNDERS

Things are pretty bad at Championship relegation strugglers Wolves, but they could get worse now Dean Saunders appears to be reading the David Brent book of management.

Here are Saunders' views on why his strikers can't hit a barn door.

"We've got players here with the knack. You always have an eye for goal but you can lose your eye of the tiger. I've still got mine but if you lose your eye of the tiger you are not actually moving to where the ball is going. It is belief and confidence. When you are scoring you have got the eye of the tiger – everywhere you run the ball bounces in front of you." `

Dean, what the bleeding hell are you talking about?

I suppose Jez Moxey might be impressed by all this safari park mumbo jumbo, just don't stand in front of the new £18m stand and talk about white elephants.  

INTER MILAN  

It emerged this week that the three-times European champions were considering signing former Stoke City striker John Carew. This came as a shock to many people, probably including John Carew.

The bloke is 33, hasn't played since leaving West Ham at the end of last season, and didn't exactly pull up trees during his four months in the Potteries in 2011. 

Since leaving the Hammers, he had moved completely away from football as we know it by starring in an action film and being linked with a move to Aston Villa.

Update: Inter revealed later this week that they'd decided against signing Carew, because his fitness needs some work.  

Coming next, Barcelona make a double swoop for Keith Scott and Martin Carruthers.   

NEWCASTLE UNITED  

Plans have been lodged with Newcastle City Council for two stainless steel slides, like those in a children's playground, for fans to leave the Gallowgate End at St James' Park.

So, supporters can 'ride the slides' out of the ground instead of using the steps.

Sounds fun, but have they  really thought this through?  For a start Newcastle fans famously don't wear shirts, whatever the freezing temperatures. Think of the grazed elbows, or bellies if they go down on their fronts.

Besides, however careful you are with your pint, some beer is going to be spilled on these slides. The last person down will come out tarred and feathered in brown ale and pie crust.

Still, I like the idea of fun ways to leave the ground. 

Stoke could try an out-of-the-box solution next time Sky make them kick off late on Boxing Day and the buses aren't running.

Simply issue all fans with umbrellas, get them to wait for the next gust on the north car park, and, like Mary Poppins, they can float gently to earth outside Wetherspoons.