IT'S OFTEN said that you're never more than six feet from a rat, especially if you work in the banking industry. But that distance appears to have shortened considerably this summer as Samuel Whiskers basks in sunny climes.

On Tuesday I saw one scampering into a bush in Hanley. It looked a harmless enough little blighter and indeed on a less frenetic day I might have tried to befriend it, taking it home to hide in the wife's pyjamas for a laugh. But I realise rattus rattus is not always such a welcome sight. A woman in Abbey Hulton this week complained of council inactivity after finding five rats' nests in her loft. Some had even shown the temerity to climb on the settee while she was sitting there, a situation I can sympathise with. As a student, I once lived in a house infested with mice. And it's no joke to feel one of them brush against your hand just as your getting to the business end of a Hammer Horror movie.

In Leek, meanwhile, a colony of nibblers is reported to have set up home on the banks of the lake in Brough Park. Excessive duck feeding has been blamed for the phenomenon as the rodents hoover up anything discarded by pernickety mallards. Deputy council leader Arthur Forrester has urged park users to "only put out as much food as the ducks will take there and then". Yes, whatever you do, don't empty out the contents of an out-of-date multi-pack of Quavers.

One thing's for sure, the modern rat is a fearless little beggar. A Brough Park regular tells how one blithely strolled up to him "without any fear". Who knows what might have happened had the chap not stamped his foot to make it go away, although to be fair it probably only wanted a light for its cigarette.

As the protagonist of George Orwell's 1984 will readily attest, prolonged exposure to rats is no laughing matter. They carry numerous diseases and a financially pressurised Government, already reeling from swine flu, could do without shelling out on for an antidote to the Black Death.

Some claim they are also minded to go for the throat when cornered, a habit they learnt by watching the behaviour of guests at a barn dance organised by the Young Conservatives.

But the main niggle with rats is their astounding ability to withstand whatever the human race chucks at them. A relative of mine had endless trouble ridding her garden of beasties which had set up base under a neighbouring shed and embarked on repeated raids to denude her bird table. They were brazen in the extreme, talking no notice of her even when she appeared at the kitchen window laden with a bazooka. Eventually, a chap known only as "the ratman", not a nickname to hanker after, came and disposed of them. This, of course, was pre-credit crunch. Nowadays, the relative in question would probably welcome a rat as pie filling.

Thing is, if this hot weather keeps up, the rat population could soar yet further. This sort of heatwave, where people will insist on eating outdoors, provides them with more and more scraps to gorge on. Surely it's only a matter of time before you see one queuing at a neighbour's barbecue.

In the end, instead of fighting him, maybe it would be easier if we just learned to cherish ratty. Many people do, after all, keep rats at home. You can find them in all leading pet-shops, right next to the dung beetles.

Just remember to ring NHS Direct at the first sign of buboes.