MY SIX-YEAR-OLD has a test coming up at the club he belongs to. Do I prepare him or will he be more worried if I tell him about it in advance? Naomi, mother-of-two from Audley

A lot depends on the temperament of your child when it comes to how you keep him informed about tests. For confident children a test is simply a way to show how good they are, and they are often keen to show their talent. If this describes your son then telling him in advance about the test and expressing your belief in him means he can choose to do extra practice if he wishes and prepare himself. If, however, he worries about his ability, for example being reluctant to show his work to others or struggling with homework, then you may choose not to tell him as sometimes anxiety can get in the way of performance. Instead you could subtly prepare him by encouraging him to show you his abilities and skills. Be aware, however, that if you don't tell him, and then he finds out you knew he may be very disappointed and it could affect the trust between you.

HOW much input do I put in to help my grown up son get a job? Jill, mother-of-two from Stoke

It can be both upsetting and frustrating as a parent seeing your grown up child jobless or without direction.

It is a delicate undertaking, however, to fully support him without taking over, nagging or implying he is not adult enough to find a job without your help. The first step is to let him know your motivation, that you want to help without patronising him and realise ultimately he has to be the one approaching employers. If money is a concern, for example if he lives with you and you need him to pay board, be honest about that too. Many agencies are available to help with job finding so perhaps your role is to get him started with a practical plan. Together perhaps you can work on the steps he needs to take, for example contacting Connexions or Job Centres, creating a curriculum vitae or searching for training courses.

It is then his task to tackle each of the steps while you both encourage and avoid getting in a trap of checking up that he's done them. Try jobcentreplus.gov.uk to keep informed about what is available.