Carlo Ancelotti (Chelsea): A set of wing mirrors, to keep checking whether Guus Hiddink is anywhere in view.

Sir Alex Ferguson (Manchester United): A shed load of cotton wool, to wrap-up his fragile defenders as United's title defence appears to be on thin ice.

Arsene Wenger (Arsenal): A pair of gloves, to remind the Frenchmen he has things at the end of his arms which you use in a handshake.

Martin O'Neill (Aston Villa): What do you buy for the man who appears to have everything? It has to be vouchers, redeemable only at Top (four) Shop.

Harry Redknapp (Tottenham): A set of electronic tags, so he can monitor his players when they go out at night.

Roberto Mancini (Manchester City): A pair of doves, to help bring about some peace in a very disgruntled dressing room.

Alex McLeish (Birmingham): The video of Hull City's 2008/09 Premier League campaign, as a reminder why he should not get too carried away with the Blues' lofty position.

Rafa Benitez (Liverpool): A shaving set, since even the under-fire Spaniard must realise his best days at Anfield came when he was clean shaven, not acting the goatee!

Roy Hodgson (Fulham): A set of scales for the best pound-for-pound Premier League manager of 2009.

Steve Bruce (Sunderland): For a man who was a great player who could become a great manager, but who has not got a particularly great nose, how about cosmetic surgery?

Tony Pulis (Stoke City): A DIY sound-proofing kit, to ensure all dressing room incidents remain firmly in the dressing room.

Mick McCarthy (Wolves): The Sol Campbell autobiography, so Mick can read about the only other person who made a change (leaving Spurs to join Arsenal) that caused as much uproar as his decision to field a team of reserves at Manchester United.

Sam Allardyce (Blackburn): Despite the claim by Kenny Dalglish that many were surprised Sam had a heart at all, it would have to be a heart rate monitor, to help keep the big man calm on the sidelines.

Owen Coyle (Burnley): Video collection of the Aussie soap Home and Away, to remind him there are actually two places you can win points in the Premier League.

David Moyes (Everton): I can't decide between a new stadium, a decent transfer budget or a fit squad, so it will have to be the tried-and-tested socks and pants.

Roberto Martinez (Wigan): A new pay-as-you-go mobile, that makes emergency calls only (999) for his next visit to White Hart Lane.

Phil Brown (Hull City): A karaoke machine, so Phil can "sing" in the privacy of his own home, rather than repeating that cats' chorus which greeted Hull's survival in the Premier League.

Gary Megson (Bolton): A set of corn plasters, to relieve some of the pressure on the much-maligned former Stoke boss.

Gianfranco Zola (West Ham): A pair of shoes with Cuban heels. The little man could do with a lift as he battles to keep the Hammers in the Premier League.

Avram Grant (Portsmouth): A mirror, so the rather dour Pompey manager can take a look at it first thing in the morning and get the smile out of the way.

AND AS FOR OUR LOCAL GAFFERS...

Dario Gradi (Crewe Alexandra): A video of the film Groundhog Day, just to prove to the old master he is not the only one who keeps ending up back at the same place he started.

Micky Adams (Port Vale): A benefactor with the money of Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich and the drive of Vale chairman Bill Bratt.