MANY women want to forget their 40th birthday, but for Deborah Salt it was pretty impossible. Although she didn't know it at the time, rheumatoid arthritis had begun to take hold and now the 47-year-old is one of around 350,000 affected by the debilitating disease in the UK.

"It wasn't long after my 40th, about two weeks or so, that I started getting twinges in both wrists when I was holding a mug or grabbing things," says Deborah, who lives at Pear Place, Berry Hill, with husband Brian, aged 54. "This gradually developed to the extent that I started to feel stiff, as if I'd been bruised all over."

It was a matter of months before Deborah was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis – a condition causing pain, swelling and inflammation in the joints – and while some patients can go into remission within a few years, Deborah has learnt to live with the disease for the past seven.

"I was working as a carer with Crossroads when I was diagnosed, but I had to give it up, because the arthritis was really affecting my hands and I was feeling overwhelming fatigue. My arms and shoulders became so stiff that I couldn't even push a car door open, my knees wouldn't bend and it felt like I was walking on rocks."

Although Deborah – whose family has a history of arthritis – portrays a positive attitude, she admits to feeling devastated when she was first told of her condition.

"I just thought I'd strained myself from picking up something too heavy to begin with, but when they told me what it was I can only say that I went through stages of grief," she explains. "I was angry, in denial and wondered why it was happening to me. I wasn't on the internet so I used to go and look at books about it in the library, but once I did get on the net the information was immense and I could often frighten myself by knowing too much."

With disfigurement to her hands and arms, Deborah's home has been installed with appliances aimed at making her life easier. Lever taps have been fitted to the sinks, hand and grab rails have been put in place, and the worktops and cupboards in the kitchen have been adjusted. She is also able to drive, although tiredness can often make this difficult.

She says: "We are thinking about the long term and will be going on a waiting list for a bungalow which would suit us a lot better. Some days I'm fine, but others I can feel really stiff and this makes walking difficult, especially if the tendons in the back of my knees tighten. It can be very painful, but you have to try and stay positive and prioritise the things you want and need to do."

Deborah's positive thinking was put to the test recently when Brian, whom she married three years ago, was diagnosed with osteoarthritis brought about by heavy industrial work.

"Brian has been brilliant with me and I can't believe he is going through the pain and frustration I went through," she says. "It was hard for him to finish work because he was the breadwinner, but once he has had all his operations and has recovered he is hoping to find suitable employment. At the moment he needs to have work done on his shoulders, hips and feet, which will take a long time."

Currently taking Methotrexate to help stabilise her condition, Deborah has to have regular blood tests at the Haywood Hospital to monitor the arthritis. Hopes of remission, however, are still at the forefront.

"I used to be able to walk the dog for miles and miles and I loved to swim, but the arthritis has made both of these difficult," she says. "Because I've got deformities in my elbows I can't straighten my arms so swimming is very hard, although I'm able to do a range of movement exercises which are very good," she continues. "In some cases arthritis can burn out of the patient's body after a few years, or it can go into remission for many, many, years, and this is what I hope will happen to me."

In the meantime, Deborah gains additional support from the National Rheumatoid Arthritis Society (NRAS), which she learnt about in 2003. And after attending a pilot course for self-management last year she helped establish a Stoke support branch based at the Haywood Outpatients Department to help others.

She concludes: "The NRAS is brilliant at putting you in touch with people who can help explain things or are going through the same thing. We have started a group in Stoke that meets on the first Thursday of every month and have some brilliant speakers. With arthritis you have to stay positive. Once you've been diagnosed you think it's a terrible thing, but there are people out there who can help and you can learn to live with it."