LAURA Challinor wishes she could snap her fingers and make her depression disappear.

But after seeking help from mental health charity Mind, the 21-year-old accepts dealing with the condition is a long process.

And she is determined not to let depression defeat her and wants to encourage more people to be open and honest about mental illness.

"Depression is something where you can feel totally petrified as well as feeling totally numb inside," she explains.

"Sometimes there would be weeks and weeks where I'd sit in my room crying."

Laura lives with her parents Steve and Kay Challinor in Everest Road, Kidsgrove.

She has been suffering with depression for four years but was not diagnosed until two years ago.

"I had a normal, happy childhood," recalls the former pupil of Kidsgrove's Maryhill High School.

"I had lots of friends and was always going out.

"It was only when I got into my teens that I started feeling quite low, but I put that down to being a typical teenager and to hormones."

After leaving school, Laura began studying for A-levels at Newcastle College.

"I was hoping to go to college and make lots of new friends," she says.

"I saw it as an exciting thing, but I found that people were already in their own groups of friends and I found it hard to fit in."

And while Laura did not dread going to lectures, they did become a "chore".

"A lot of the time I'd go into town and go to the library to do my work, rather than go to the lessons to do it," she says.

"It was just my own personal thing going on. I was feeling very lonely and isolated"

She began missing about half her lectures every week and, before long, her form teacher raised the issue of her low attendance with her.

"I just said there were personal things going on and I didn't want to discuss it," she says.

"It was just easier for me to do work in my own time, rather than do it at college."

Laura decided to talk to her parents about how low she was feeling.

"It was hard for them because they were probably thinking, a little bit like me, that maybe it's because I was a teenager and was feeling emotional," she says. "But I never told them I was skiving lessons."

Laura continued with her A-levels and finished college with a B in English language, a C in English literature and a D in psychology.

Meanwhile, she started becoming more reluctant to go out and socialise.

"People would invite me out to places," she says, "and to start with I'd say 'yes' and arrange a time and place to meet.

"But then, at the last minute, I'd feel really nervous and would make up an excuse as to why I couldn't be there."

As the depression continued, Laura would hide in her room and cry.

"Even now when I'm having a bad day, I prefer to cry in my room, rather than in front of my parents," she says. "It makes me feel bad for them to see their daughter so upset.

"There is nothing they can do or say."

Eventually, Laura confided in her mum and dad that she needed help.

"I was rarely going out and was crying every day," she says. "I think my parents were quite shocked."

After seeing her GP, Laura was referred to Mind, who diagnosed depression.

"It was a relief knowing it had a name," she says.

Laura now attends weekly counselling sessions at North Staffordshire Mind in Hanley.

She said: "You can say as little or as much as you like at the sessions.

"You're made to feel extremely comfortable, and I'm a lot more willing now to accept I have depression and that it's not something that will disappear overnight."

On bad days, Laura has little motivation to leave her room and eat meals.

She said: "My parents find it frustrating because I'm their daughter and they want to take the pain away and help me, but if only it was that simple."

Laura admits she has felt suicidal.

"It has got that low for me," she reveals. "It's such a lonely and dark place. You struggle to see the light at the end of the tunnel."

Laura now suffers from anxiety and depression and, last summer, she experienced her first panic attack.

She says: "With the attacks, initially you feel that you're dying. You can't catch your breath.

"At the time I didn't know what was happening, which made it more frightening."

Yet Laura has a passion for poetry and has had two of her poems published.

"I've always enjoyed writing," she says, "but since I've had depression I've not done any.

"There are some days when it's hard to get out of bed, let alone put pen to paper and physically write something down."

Laura is a part-time sales assistant at Home Bargains in Kidsgrove, where she has worked for almost three years.

"I've really tried my best with my job to carry on as normal," she says.

"Yes, I have depression, but I'm not going to let it defeat me.

"Depression is nothing to be ashamed of," she adds. "It's one of the most common illnesses in the country."

Since starting counselling, Laura has started feeling better and she is now preparing to raise awareness and money for Mind by taking part in the Women's 5km Adidas Run in London's Hyde Park this September.

"I'm doing it all on my own," she says, "and it's going to mean a lot to me.

"Depression makes you incredibly lazy, but exercise is beneficial.

"Now my main priority has to be to focus on getting better."

To sponsor Laura, visit www.thisisstaffordshire.co.uk/sentinelle