OUR sex life was always good until very recently. My husband is suffering from impotency and worries about it so much he is less keen to have sex now.

He's embarrassed by it and is avoiding going to the doctor. I don't make a big thing of this, but also I don't want it to drag on and become a big problem for us. What can I do?

You're right not to be overly worried. Your husband becoming anxious will only contribute to the problem. Firstly, to normalise this for him, it is a very common problem affecting many men at some point in their sexual lives. Often it can be stress-related and you need to eliminate any possible medical condition. Also, you need to avoid creating a self-perpetuating cycle of anxiety of "if we have sex tonight will it go well or not" – this will only lead to the likelihood of it happening. Take the pressure off. If it continues, I suggest you access psycho-sexual therapy at Relate sooner rather than later before the pattern is firmly established.

I HAVE a very difficult relationship with my sister, who at 28 is two years older than me. When we were in our late teens, she was engaged and I hurt her badly by very stupidly having a one-night-stand with her fiancé. I think now, with hindsight, I was jealous of her, yet at the same time aspired to be like her and wanted a taste of what she had. The fall-out was awful. After months of not speaking, we eventually got back on speaking terms. She later married someone else and lives down south. However, we are not close and our contact very much depends on me keeping in touch with her and even then I sense she's distant with me.

I would dearly love to make amends and become close again. How can I make things better?

You broke your sister's trust massively by your betrayal of her, and my guess is she feels unable to restore that trust in you again and therefore keeps her distance so you can't hurt her ever again. Family counselling would give you the opportunity to begin to repair the damage done, but she's unlikely at this stage to agree to that.

Why not write her a letter explaining how much you want to improve your relationship with her and how sorry you are for past actions? Perhaps that's a conversation you've never had.